Facing Up

I think sometimes we lie to ourselves. Sometimes it is about different things. For different people it might be different things. For me it is my food. I walk around saying, I don't know why I don't see the results that I want. I do see results by the way, but not the complete results that I want. Well, it is a lie - I know exactly why. I know each bad choice as I make it, and I choose to convince myself at the time that it doesn't matter or I will do the right thing "next time". The bottom line is that it DOES NOT MATTER if I sit there and plan the healthiest breakfasts and dinners, if my lunch is absolute crap, and if there are bad snacks that are filler in between. Your thinking throughout the day is what creates the person you are. Are you in a rut? You might look like it then! Is that how you want to feel? Is that what you want the world to see of you? The question is, if I am walking around sucking it in all of the time, am I truly allowing myself to live, act and be the person I truly am? I think I am that person that skips over the bad parts.

I will tell you what I mean by that. Have you ever done a workout, maybe a video, or a class and purposely skipped the part that is way too hard? For example, the situps! Or the pushups, or the lunges. I name those because those were some of the ones that I hated, so I would skip those parts, figuring well I had done a 45 minute workout, no big deal if I skipped the 5 minutes that I hated the most. That was a long time ago when I did that. But the point is clear. It is okay to skip the pushups, but you should always at least try to do a couple if you can. If you hate that part, chances are it is the part you need the most.

I woke up this morning at 4:30a.m. All the common sense stuff that I have known all along and not followed and ignored was clear. The bloating, the lack of total and complete results. The hard workout. The gall bladder. I think I began to confuse myself. I could handle working out. The food took too much time to sort out and think about. I thought to myself, if I work out enough, then I won't have to worry about what I eat. Not true. Obviously not true. I can run 8-11 miles at a time, and still feel bloated? Yeah, that means I can't eat whatever I want. In a way it is truly like mourning a lost loved piece of your life. I mean it is comforting, and it tastes good and it is a luxury. But that is how I should treat it, as a luxury, not an every day part of my life. The truth is, I have a collection of health books, cook books all analyzing the body and digestive system and how to be at your best health. When I woke up this morning I spent some time reflecting on what I want for myself. I dug out 4-5 of my reference books and began reading over some of the pertinent sections. It was clear that some of the parts that I skipped over the course of time (the parts that were not my favorite) were common ground in all of these books. The dairy and breads need to be cut way down, big time. Obviously the snacks and processed foods should be eliminated from a regular schedule. When I reviewed the sample menu plans from some of the things I have been doing it was outstanding - I have been counter productive to the results I want.

The key is to be able to tweak it to each person's needs. For example, a lot of these books are not assuming that I am training for a half marathon. So being able to take the knowledge that I have about my workout schedule as well as the key points I have learned about health in general, training for events, and working out in general and apply it to my personal life, is essential for success. And to never stop tweaking, never stop striving, even if something doesn't work. This week I am going to try to take more responsibility for my choices. With a friend coming into town, I will allow myself to have a few drinks, maybe a snack here or there, but when I am alone, there is no excuse or room for error.

On the flip side, the dextor ann arbor half marathon is in one week. In one week from tomorrow, I will be completing the 13 mile run that I have been preparing for for 3 1/2 months. In some ways I think I have trained better for this one than I have on any of the previous ones, at the same time, I dropped the ball a couple of times this month with a couple of the runs. Also, if my eating had been in check this month I think I would have had a better chance for better results and finish time. But it is not helpful to dwell on the regrets, the important thing is to look forward with anticipation. I h ave one big run left this weekend, 11 miles. That will be my last long run before the race next week. I will probably do it this afternoon. Then next week will be a relaxed schedule leading up to the big day. I think at most I have a 2 mile run and a 5 mile run. Probably do a bit of yoga or something in between. I am excited. It is crucial to eat well. Critical!! I can do it.