Facing Up

I think sometimes we lie to ourselves. Sometimes it is about different things. For different people it might be different things. For me it is my food. I walk around saying, I don't know why I don't see the results that I want. I do see results by the way, but not the complete results that I want. Well, it is a lie - I know exactly why. I know each bad choice as I make it, and I choose to convince myself at the time that it doesn't matter or I will do the right thing "next time". The bottom line is that it DOES NOT MATTER if I sit there and plan the healthiest breakfasts and dinners, if my lunch is absolute crap, and if there are bad snacks that are filler in between. Your thinking throughout the day is what creates the person you are. Are you in a rut? You might look like it then! Is that how you want to feel? Is that what you want the world to see of you? The question is, if I am walking around sucking it in all of the time, am I truly allowing myself to live, act and be the person I truly am? I think I am that person that skips over the bad parts.

I will tell you what I mean by that. Have you ever done a workout, maybe a video, or a class and purposely skipped the part that is way too hard? For example, the situps! Or the pushups, or the lunges. I name those because those were some of the ones that I hated, so I would skip those parts, figuring well I had done a 45 minute workout, no big deal if I skipped the 5 minutes that I hated the most. That was a long time ago when I did that. But the point is clear. It is okay to skip the pushups, but you should always at least try to do a couple if you can. If you hate that part, chances are it is the part you need the most.

I woke up this morning at 4:30a.m. All the common sense stuff that I have known all along and not followed and ignored was clear. The bloating, the lack of total and complete results. The hard workout. The gall bladder. I think I began to confuse myself. I could handle working out. The food took too much time to sort out and think about. I thought to myself, if I work out enough, then I won't have to worry about what I eat. Not true. Obviously not true. I can run 8-11 miles at a time, and still feel bloated? Yeah, that means I can't eat whatever I want. In a way it is truly like mourning a lost loved piece of your life. I mean it is comforting, and it tastes good and it is a luxury. But that is how I should treat it, as a luxury, not an every day part of my life. The truth is, I have a collection of health books, cook books all analyzing the body and digestive system and how to be at your best health. When I woke up this morning I spent some time reflecting on what I want for myself. I dug out 4-5 of my reference books and began reading over some of the pertinent sections. It was clear that some of the parts that I skipped over the course of time (the parts that were not my favorite) were common ground in all of these books. The dairy and breads need to be cut way down, big time. Obviously the snacks and processed foods should be eliminated from a regular schedule. When I reviewed the sample menu plans from some of the things I have been doing it was outstanding - I have been counter productive to the results I want.

The key is to be able to tweak it to each person's needs. For example, a lot of these books are not assuming that I am training for a half marathon. So being able to take the knowledge that I have about my workout schedule as well as the key points I have learned about health in general, training for events, and working out in general and apply it to my personal life, is essential for success. And to never stop tweaking, never stop striving, even if something doesn't work. This week I am going to try to take more responsibility for my choices. With a friend coming into town, I will allow myself to have a few drinks, maybe a snack here or there, but when I am alone, there is no excuse or room for error.

On the flip side, the dextor ann arbor half marathon is in one week. In one week from tomorrow, I will be completing the 13 mile run that I have been preparing for for 3 1/2 months. In some ways I think I have trained better for this one than I have on any of the previous ones, at the same time, I dropped the ball a couple of times this month with a couple of the runs. Also, if my eating had been in check this month I think I would have had a better chance for better results and finish time. But it is not helpful to dwell on the regrets, the important thing is to look forward with anticipation. I h ave one big run left this weekend, 11 miles. That will be my last long run before the race next week. I will probably do it this afternoon. Then next week will be a relaxed schedule leading up to the big day. I think at most I have a 2 mile run and a 5 mile run. Probably do a bit of yoga or something in between. I am excited. It is crucial to eat well. Critical!! I can do it.

Everyday Success

Finding the answers to small problems = dedication and progress. I have currently made it one month and 2 days without coffee of any kind. Yes, I do believe I deserve a medal. And now, I think of it and it sounds wonderful, but I know I don't need it. The answers to small problems is when I would wake up and couldn't think of anything besides the cup of coffee. Then I forced myself to choose from other options. What are my options, and which one is it going to be today? So now I have made a routine of making a pot of hot water and bringing my thermos of green tea to work with me and happily sip it throughout the day - it is a treat for me now, and no longer a sacrifice. No time to pack breakfast is no longer an issue. In my drawer at work I keep a jar of peanut butter, a supply of rice cakes and a bag of dried mixed fruit. When I leave in the morning I grab a yogurt and when I get to work I have my yogurt, a small handful of dried fruit and a rice cake with about a teaspoon of peanut butter spread on it and I am completely satisfied. Then I move on to my green tea. My whole day wasn't perfect - they bought us pizza for lunch so of course I ate it! But the morning was in my control and I made wise decisions and felt great.

My training is coming along terrific so far. This weekend will complete my fourth week of my running schedule complete. I am very happy with myself up to this point. The only downfall is that it has been almost entirely on a treadmill, which is not ideal at all, but definitely doable. I went to stony creek on sunday and wow could I tell I hadn't been running outside - severe shin splints for the first two miles and then in the last mile or so my pelvic and upper thigh muscles were all out of whack. So I was supposed to do 8 that day but I only did 7 miles...but I was okay with it since my body was telling me I had worked as hard as I needed to that day. That is the only day so far where I have fallen short of what I was supposed to do. Tomorrow I have to do 8 miles and it will unfortunately be on the treadmill after bree goes to bed so I will just have to get through it.

Really the key now is to try to cut back more on the high fat foods. With the gallstone issue, this is something I should be much better about so I will just slowly build more routines similar to my morning options and I will get it together soon I believe.

the latest a-ha

So I had been mulling it over in my head just weeks ago. The bloating feeling. Some weeks it is worse than others. And maybe that is just normal, many women complain of it. But it got me to thinking...hormones. How would one even know if their hormones are out of whack? And surely it has a big impact on how your body does its job.

I picked up a book by C.W. Randolph, M.D. which talks about just that - over dominating estrogen levels which cause belly fat in women over age 30 (and men over age 40). A lot of the symptoms just don't apply to me but I am reading on because a lot of it falls right in line with the other stuff I have read about my body type and health in general, concentrate on certain fruits and vegetables, calcium, fiber, healthy oils, etc.

And then the fact that I quit coffee made sense and I was proud of that move when I read on. The book states, "Studies have shown that drinking two cups of coffee a day can increase estrogen levels." In a study involving hundreds of men and women, women who had more than one cup of coffee a day had significantly higher estrogen levels! This definitely applies to all caffeinated beverages, so the pop drinkers are also at risk, thankfully I am really not.

I have also set aside a food journal for myself. Seeing that I tend to do the whole, "oh just one of these, or a little of that" constantly I need to be making myself write it down and then maybe I won't be so quick to make excuses for all of those little treats. It is time consuming but I suppose like anything once you have a routine it is not such a big deal.

Onward to slimmer and better things!

New Energy

Well I have passed the two week mark of no coffee. I have chosen alternatives like tea and water in the interim. It is better definitely but not perfect. I am at a point now where I know I can do without it, but it is still a painful journey. I am glad that I am doing it though. I think it is important to find my energy a different way, it is so amazing to me just how dependent I was on coffee. Scary really. This will be good for me to go through a training season without it. Then on race day I can have a half cup and it will be perfect!

Everyone else around me at work has crumbled in what they gave up, mostly pop, beer and choclate. Fascinating. I always thought I had a poor ability to discipline with restraining myself but they all caved very quickly, maybe I am stronger than I thought! Well, time to get ready for work. One more day til the weekend, yippee!!

The Roles People Play

So it is true what they say - surround yourself with people of your own mindset. Surround yourself with people you consider smarter and more inspirational. Don't be threatened by it - be inspired by it. I have found that when you are around people that put you in awe for one reason or another, you realize that they are just regular people who have a different take or perspective in life than most...and they become successful because of it. One of my best buds from Colorado won top chef this week. He WON top chef. To even get on that show is amazing. He won. I know how he thinks and it isn't surprising that he has accomplished so much in his life. From winning me at chess every time, to his degree in physics engineering to top chef. His perspective is focused and simple. He was a good friend, you can go on a bike ride with him or out for a beer and he has no ego in the way. So far and few between are the people like hosea.

I am becoming better friends with perfect girl at work. We laugh hysterically at times and just get along well. I've let go of the fact that she will probably take my title of the girl in the office that runs. I can run along side her (or perhaps way behind her) and that is okay too. Speaking of which, I am a little stuffed up still but I am done with it mentally. I have really cut back the past few weeks, considering sleep and rest is most important and trying not to feel guilty about it. But now I am ready to rock. I am so out of shape right now it is daunting. But not enough to rattle me. I started my light weights on thursday night after a very long day at work. Last night I was on the treadmill for 3 miles and then did a video work out for about 40 minutes. I slept really good. I am taking some brown algae to help with my metabolism, just another natural remedy my friend has so kindly sent my way! I also talked with her about my fear of continuing my cleanse. I am so afraid of getting sick again. She said that is nonsense. This time maybe start the first four days with half dosage and move up when I feel comfortable. Focus on eating right, getting enough fiber and water and quit being a baby. Fine! Okay! So I might continue that this week.

I am down to just a little bit over 3 months before the race in ann arbor. Its go time for sure. I still have plenty of time to get where I need to be but I really need to cut the nonsense with the sweets at work. Sitting next to perfect girl at work should help with that. Oh...so here I am - I am on day 4 without coffee. Days 2 and 3 at work were rough. I haven't cut out caffeine altogether so I can still have tea and choclate or whatever but let me tell you, it doesn't ease the pain all that much! And I am not a soda drinker so I don't go that route - that would be so much worse than coffee. I am excited to be coffee free for a while. I am ready to boost my natural energy for a while. I do love coffee, but I think I loved it too much. A good break will do me good and force me to switch up my habits for a while. Today I took bree to the play area at the mall since it was freezing and on an average day I would have been tempted to get an expensive beverage at fivebucks...er, I mean starbucks... but since I stopped drinking coffee, and nothing else sounded appealing, I just stuck with my water. Over time, those decisions will help me.

Well, bree is successfully in napping position and out cold. I must get on that treadmill and make use of this time. To all a good day and healthy choices.

Words From Peter

Had to add this so that I can refer to it later, from Dr. D'adamo's newsletter:

Ever get the feeling that the so-called light at the end of the tunnel is in fact an oncoming train? I certainly do. Fall always seems to be such a demanding time for me; lectures and public appearances seem to multiply; patient contact at The D’Adamo Clinic always picks up after the summer doldrums, and there are the ever-present demands of family and parenthood. Add to that the pleasures and pressures of an oncoming holiday season, closed windows and forced hot air heating, sniffles and uncovered coughing mouths and you’ve got yourself a perfect storm for colds, flu and exhaustion. Add to that the stresses and strains of a failing economy, job layoffs and evaporating retirement accounts and you now know why I suggested that NAP make fatigue and stress the main theme of this month's newsletter. Studies show that end-of-year holiday time ranks very high on the stress scale—exceeded only by the death of a spouse. Many people feel depressed at this time of year, perhaps due to loneliness, lack of sunlight, or as a reaction to the inherent superficiality of many of the public displays and celebrations. However, at their core, these holidays contain very helpful messages. Thanksgiving celebrates the bounty of the Earth and reassures us of the immense regenerative capacity of Nature. Christmas and Hanukkah are festivals of joy and rededication to a new purity of intent. New Year's is a time of new beginnings. The other day I was reading an article on Spam (the pork version; not the email one) and how Hormel, the manufacturer, cannot keep up with consumer demand for it as a ‘hardship food’. Although a bit disturbed by the notion that a food such as this should be considered a ‘value’ when other healthier foods are available and are even better bargains, I did happen to notice that in a separate table of ‘things which were up or down due to the economy,’ nutritional supplement sales were actually way up. My father has often said that ‘Stress is best handled by a healthy body.’ and I guess that a lot of folks feel the same way. However, which supplements? Here are a few that I’ve used over the years to help patients restore from the ill effects of stress, fatigue depression: Acetyl-l-carnitine (NAP ‘Pro-Mitokon A) When I see patients in the Clinic who are chronically fatigued I often recommend the amino acid l-carnitine, especially in the acetylated form (acetyl-l-carnitine). Carnitine serves many important roles in the body, but it’s best know for helping to increase the activity of the mitochondria in our cells. Mitochondria are sort of like the battery of the cell. Under normal circumstances fatty acids are sent to the mitochondria where they are converted to energy. Without acetyl-l-carnitine these fatty acids cannot easily enter into mitochondria. The acetyl group is what makes the whole shebang work. It promotes the generation of energy from amino acids, fats, and carbohydrates, and explains why the acetyl form is so important to the success of this supplement. In essence, if the cell was a wristwatch, taking acetylated-l-carnitine is the equivalent of taking it to the jeweler and having him pop off the back and slip in a new battery. We also use it in the Clinic for muscle fatigue, and to help improve memory and concentration. Patients usually notice a rapid increase in mental energy, followed by a gradual improvement in physical energy as well. l-theanine (NAP ‘Tranquility Base’) Theanine is an amino acid commonly found in green tea (Camellia sinensis) that has been shown to reduce mental and physical stress and produce feelings of relaxation. Interestingly, when combined with caffeine it helps to improve cognition and mood. Theanine also has beneficial effects on the immune system as well. Blood sample analysis found that the production of anti-bacterial proteins was up to five times higher in the tea-drinkers. One of the actions of theanine is to increase the production of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) an important neurotransmitter, so I usually maximize the effect by also supplementing with a bit of GABA as well. Blood Type and Stress (NAP ‘Cortiguard’ and ‘Catechol’) There are significant differences between the blood types regarding how they handle stress. Type O individuals tend to over-accumulate adrenaline at the expense of adequate levels of dopamine. Types A, AB and B folks tend to have trouble adjusting their levels of cortisol properly in response to stress (Type As are the worst at this!) We’ve long used two specific NAP supplements as ‘blood type specific stress busters’ in the D’Adamo Clinic: NAP’s Catechol for type Os and Cortiguard for the As, Bs and ABs. Catechol has a nice blend of amino acids and herbs which helps to flush excess adrenaline out of the body, which in combination with the high protein, low wheat type O diet, can do wonders for their moods. Cortiguard helps those other types to better control their metabolism (and prevent excess weight gain during stress) by using herbs and nutritional co-factors to help blunt the effects of excess cortisol when taken in concert with the diet for your blood type. These are just a few suggestions that can help you navigate through these challenging times. Be optimistic. Keep up on the news, but don’t overdo it. Stay connected with friends and family. Express yourself. These societal upheavals are scary, but they are just the birth pangs of a new future; a world of new possibilities, new technologies. Recommit yourself to the principles of personalized dieting and optimized nutrition. Be ready for it. Enjoy, and see you next issue! - Peter Peter D’Adamo

Funny Guy

I read this guy's column and it was so funny. He and his wife did a marathon and it helped to lighten my day....http://www.charleston.net/news/2009/feb/19/slow_steady_wins_th_place72245/

that was the link if you are so inclined.

Today I realized I have been binge eating for 3 days. Not sure where I fell off track but once I had spiraled down so far it was really hard to regroup and get back on track. Just had a talk with my friend who knows way too much about health and it sort of smacked me back into reality. Sometimes in life we have bad habits - duh. Well anyway, especially in times of great stress we fall back on those and this I have done. When it seems too overwhelming, admittedly I can be seen hiding for an extra 10 minutes on the couch with a bagel and cream cheese before I decide what to do. By the way, she emphasized just how nasty bagels and cream cheese really are and now I have a complex that I am going to decompose and die! Well, I knew they were that bad already but I guess I had chosen to forget for a while.

So I need to make a list of my comfort foods that I know are bad and then I need to make a list of the foods I believe I should be eating that make me feel good. Then with that clarity and clear idea list in front of me I go forward as well as having some emergency code red methods to fall back on when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed which do not include a private rendevous with reese peanut butter cups. That will be my homework at the moment and I am now debating something that I have been thinking about for such a great deal of time now. Do I need to give up coffee for a bit? Man. That is tough. I love coffee. but maybe I need a break. The thing is, it isn't good to drink that caffeine when you are doing a cleanse , which I will be starting back up on in the next few days. Also, coffee tends to make me do bad things. Not every day. But let's face it - bagel and cream cheese goes GREAT with coffee. Lots go well with coffee - breads of every kind, chocolate, everything bad. So maybe I should take a break from coffee and get my self straightened out. But won't my job be at stake? Won't my sanity be at risk?? I am not stopping caffeine though. I am not really a pop or soda fan, so that won't be an issue, but if there is a tea with caffeine, I am allowing tea. Ugh. Not sure. It won't be forever. It will be good for me. I should do it. I'll keep posted on this project.

Go Big

Go big or Go home...that is what we used to say all of the time back in the days when I worked at E.M.S. Back then we compared backpacking stories. Today, it is a different world but the concept remains. The goal is simple - healthy, stronger, feel good. I have manifested the goal into my thought process, and I've got it. The last two days I have successfully dodged all dessert items at the office and it wasn't even hard, I didn't want them. I want my goal. As of right now, I am down 4 pounds from last month. That could actually be meaningless because realistically that is about how much your weight can go up and down in any given month. Nonetheless, I am going to take it and run with it. Any success at all, can be fuel to use for further motivation.

Today I ran 4 miles no problem. Now I am not so worried about missing this first week and a half of the month because I think it will be fairly easy to jump into my training schedule (knock on wood). I am putting a lot of focus on whole grains, fruit and veggies. I can have a light yogurt here and there and meat when necessary. I am not terribly strict about it but if I do have something else I am very careful about how much I have. I'll adjust as needed with exercise each day and whatnot. I already feel a little bit better and I am just so focused right now I don't want to lose sight of it. I keep thinking, how much easier my next race would be if I lost 10 pounds...and I really want to do it.

Through Thick and Thin

February is starting to crawl by and I am still trying to get rid of the remains of this strep-turned-cold annoyance. After the trading if illnesses the daughter and I have been trading, it doesn't take a genius to decide I need to allow just a bit of time before I go back to this cleanse. No sense in tearing myself down when I am already down!

Back to business and this is serious. I am already within the 4 month window of training time for the half marathon in June and training is not underway. This is somewhat driving me crazy. Not liking it at all. Here is the kicker. The all too fabulous girl at work...the one that had 3 kids and looks like christie brinkley anyway...can't hate her because she is super funny and quite fabulous. Well now, she is entering my territory. She is joining the work running club. When I mentioned I was in it - she replied, "oh great, we can do it together!" Sure. Sure we can. Except you are two feet taller than me and will obviously leave me in your dust.

The thing about is...that is my thing. I am the girl in the office that runs. Now she is going to swoop in and take my title. Totally kidding of course. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bump up my need to keep my edge on training. She isn't planning on doing the race until october. But if I do one in june AND train for october I will be totally ahead of the game. YES. So childish I know, but keeps it exciting.

What a not-so-long but very strange trip it has been...

What an interesting process this liver cleanse has been. I started the cleanse back on the 19th and didn't notice anything the first few days but then really was fatigued beyond belief for a good four days. Following this were signs of sickness, headaches and sore throat. Unfortunately that led to my news yesterday of strep throat. Ugh. Major setback. Let's not forget the skin breakout I have seen on my face too, good grief, not really that bad but I am not used to having that happen in general.

So, now that I had to start my antibiotic this morning for the strep throat, I called the company for the cleanse to see if I should discontinue it. They said it would not be harmful to continue the cleanse, but that the cleanse would be more beneficial if I stopped now and continued after the antibiotic is done. Such a drag. I don't have time for weakness! In all seriousness I feel bad in terms of having a sore throat and being a little tired but I had every intention of exercising tonight since I wasn't up for it the last four days. A friend told me this should wait a little longer, so I decided maybe that is true. Sometimes I feel better, or think I feel better than what my body is actually ready for. So tonight I will rest. I want to be productive but instead, I am doing the bath, read a book and tea evening. Tomorrow, it is into work for more mandatory overtime. That is not part of my wellness program! But job stability and overtime pay is certainly not on my list of complaints.

So what have I learned from this experience...well, not to take my health for granted. When I went into the cleanse, I felt fantastic. I was feeling perfectly unstoppable. But the detox cleanse is pulling toxins out, and inevitably will be breaking you down. So instead of taking it for granted, I should have braced myself better by eating perfectly and taking my multi vitamin every day, and for sure getting better sleep. In addition, I learned from my friend who gave me the cleanse that there are two very important things with this type of cleanse....the first, of course is a lot of water, lots. I knew that part, but the second, she reminded me of is that it is really important to get sufficient amounts of fiber in your diet during those days. The toxins are actually absorbed by the fiber and get pulled out of your system more efficiently that way. I had not been doing that the first week and I am certain this was one of my downfalls.

So when I am done with the life sucking antibiotics that I must take, I will give myself a day or two inbetween and then I put my game face on go in for the finish of the detox cleanse. I am ready, bring it on!! You evil toxins can't bring me down! Well, apparently they already did, but it won't happen again hopefully. Well, that is all for now, gotta get better.

One Girl's Treasure...

One girl's treasure is another's trash, or vice versa, or whatever. I received a gift in the mail from my dear friend the other day, and I was ecstatic. Not everyone would appreciate it but I sure do. She sent me a 30 day cleanse kit. You take the three different bottles and 30 drops of each in a glass of water which you drink throughout the day. This cleanse ultimately puts your body in a cleaning mode and eliminates toxins and other waste from your organs so that everything is a bit more functional and clean, if you will. I feel so fortunate and lucky that I have a friend that works at whole foods and can link me in to such a treat. These are the things that are important to me, so I treasure it. I haven't felt incredibly different just yet. I have been on the cleanse treatment for about 7 days and the small things that I have noticed are my skin having more blemishes and also this weekend feeling extra tire, a lot more tired, than usual. They do say that you will feel worse before you feel better. So I am sure these are symptoms that the cleanse is doing its job.

After my 30 day cleanse is done, I plan to execute my next gallbladder cleanse. I dread it, honestly. But I know it is a good thing and a necessary thing, and in all reality it isn't that bad, but I have to let go of my routine of productivity and freedom for that night and following morning and that is very hard for me to do. What? Go a night with going to bed early and not utilizing every second with my to do list? Maddening!! But taking care of myself has to be first or none of the rest will ever work, so sacrifice I must. The other uneasy thing is that I have to start my training schedule for my next half marathon in about a week and a half. It will be sketchy to drop that for two days for the cleanse and then try to jump back, but it won't be as damaging since it will be at the very beginning of training, where it is pretty light stuff anyway. I feel guilty that I have done so little running over the past few months but I have a couple things in my favor - the first is that I am lucky enough to be able to pick it up really easily even after all of that time off. I don't know why that is, but that is one of the things I have going for me. The other day I ran a mile just because I had that little bit of time to spare so I jumped on the treadmill and did it, and didn't even think about it. I am not fast, that is for sure. But people tell me all the time they can't even do a mile without stopping and it really doesn't register with me, because I am so conditioned to do long distances.

Well, time is up, until next time.

Quote Time

"The only one that can stop you from getting there is you. Whether it be in business, fitness or life in general. It is never too late to be what you might have been."

-Unknown

Posture Thursday

Going back to the name of this blog defines what I felt today. Cubicle. Felt glued to the chair and seemed to mold my existence right into the desk top and keyboard. By nature, everything about this type of job is not physically healthy! I know this, but so do millions of other americans that have to make a living. I am glad we are busy at work again - job stability is a happy place. But yet for hours on end we find ourselves not moving anything other than a slight twist of our wrists here and there and the constant bouncing of our fingertips as we scan page after page...our eyes glued to the illuminating screens. Its no wonder around 4p.m. we all gaze up dazed and confused, our entire sensory essence frozen and stiff.

Man, imagine this scene day after day and year after year in addition to natural aging physical constraints. Yeah. Exercise and eating is so super important. I remember the days of feeling unstoppable. I remember in my early 20's feeling just about as good as you can possibly feel. Waking up on a Saturday, going out to breakfast with friends filled with greasy omellettes, hashbrowns, or whatever filled our desire, topped with numerous cups of coffee. Within the hour we could go on a 4 hour hike on nothing more than a nalgene of water and a luna bar. Potentially, we could come back and go tubing in the creek, a bike ride to the park and stop at home for some dinner. After than, a night at the bars. Get about 6 hours of sleep and do it again. So much energy and no aching. I didn't have a car for several years - I remember waking up, riding my bike 2 miles to work, working a full day, then riding my bike 5 miles to the community college campus for my class and then by 9pm. throwing my head lamp on my head and riding home. I did it all the time, and it was no problem at all.

We are capable of so much more than we give credit for. To this day, I still find myself challenging myself a bit, just to see. I think that is why I have a hang up with these half marathons. I just want to test myself...can I still do it... and can I do it a few minutes faster this time... and what if I throw in a little bit different training this time...but it is all while living a very full and busy life - which is ok because we need that forced break in which we can exert that energy and push ourselves in a different way...otherwise I would still be at that desk hunched over, probably with neck spasms and back aches. I learned very quickly and intensely the value of ones spine and back at the ripe age of 18 years old. Falling through a roof and crushing my lumbar vertebrae was a rude awakening. I wore a brace for just under 3 months and that is a long time for an 18 year old who wants to do everything including prom and a backpacking trip (both of which I ended up doing, I am proud to say) but losing use on any level of your core body is rough. And I don't want to. This month, part of my goal was to step up the strength training just a bit. Granted I have only light hand weights but it is really how you use them that matters. I have been doing them 2-3 times per week for about 2 1/2 weeks and I can definitely tell a difference. It is true what they say, it dramatically effects your posture - I absolutely just feel better. I am really hoping to get the running in gear by the beginning of february but I am struggling with the idea of the time constraints it puts on you...but I want to do it.

Anyways, I really like the way it feels to improve strength training a little bit and it is a fact that it helps to protect you against injury as you get older - especially someone like me who is sitting at work for so many hours and could probably be an easy target for pulling a muscle while doing household chores if I didn't stay active on some level.

Well, tomorrow is friday, better get a good night's sleep to take on the day and hopefully end it with a pleasant run on the treadmill after bree goes to sleep.

Back for 2009

Happiness is. I have taken some time to sit back over the holidays and think..probably think way too much, but all the same it is important to take time and evaluate. This forum is only for one aspect of those thoughts or I might very well be sitting here for weeks trying to display all of those thoughts. No matter, really. But what I really was able to zero in on was, what is happiness today and what is happiness tomorrow.

Happiness today...is reading stories to my 3 year old daughter and she wants to read them over and over again. It is us giggling hysterically giving eachother raspberries on each other's cheeks for 20 minutes straight. It is that unfiltered block of time where we are nothing but happy with each other. That is my happiness today. Happiness tomorrow for me will be all the things that I do today that will make her say things tomorrow. I thought about what I would want her to be able to say. I hope she will be able to say things like - "my mom was the one I wanted there when anything good or bad happened" "my mom is easy to talk to about anything in the world" " my mom taught me to think critically and question things first" "my mom showed me that I can do anything I put my mind to" " my mom taught me not to give up or to place blame, but to reach within and to succeed" "my mom is healthy and strong and we do everything together"....

Whatever it is she will be able to take from these years to come, it will all derive from our health. Our health gives us the energy, the attitude, the confidence and the drive to begin our days, our chores, our play. It might not matter if I can't take her to the grand canyon or do extravagent things...it does matter that I can go sledding with her, keep up running down the trail, have the energy to chase her down as she coasts down a hill on her bike - or just work a full day, make healthy meal choices, play games and lay in bed and read books and give raspberry kisses at the end of the night.

She is the reason sad is not an option and she is the entire reason that I have any grasp of what it means to truly understand what it is like to love someone so much you would give anything for them. I am grateful for that and I believe it makes me whole. My give back, my return of thanks, needs to be to take as good of care of myself no matter what, so that I can be there for her.

Originally I had set out to do yoga and pilates several times a week during my winter "layoff" from running. However, as good as an idea as that was, once a runner always a runner. It is my treadmill and my turbo jam workout tapes that I cannot break away from. I suppose, if it makes me feel good, I should just go with it. So, the turbo jam tapes are excellent, chalene johnson is my hero. She just knows how to do a workout and you always feel like you have done something. There is nothing more irritating to me than to spend 40 minutes on an activity and not be able to feel as though I put enough into it. I never feel that way with her workouts. So there it is, I set up a schedule on my calendar to mix those work outs up through out each week. Some use light hand weights and others are just aerobic and flexibility. Flexibility is key, especially as a runner because runners are infamous for having tighter hamstrings and muscles with less flexibility, so if I can manage to sneak in even one yoga per week it would be honorable.

The running has been just far and few between since the big race in october but the mileage will need to start increasing in february if I want training to start on the right foot. Let's hope in the mean time that muscle toning will take place.